Some people might read the title, and say, "Duh! Only one type of cleanliness exists, Spencer." But fortunately, dear reader, you and I have discovered together that more than one type actually does exist. I have already covered emotional and spiritual cleanliness, which leaves physical and mental left to explore and uncover in detail. As you read, try to think of how this may apply to SSA. If you have not yet found an application for yourself, that is perfectly fine. I will describe a few ways these various types of cleanliness have applied to me and my SSA, personally. I will say this much, however- I have chosen to cover these four areas for a very specific reason, amid other peripheral reasons. Continuing on, then...
Physical cleanliness comes first because it remains as one of the most stigmatized measuring sticks of mankind's worth, status, and potential in life. Let us start delving into this from a logical viewpoint. How on earth do health & beauty products, clothing, or consistent hygienic habits define a person as to where they have been (worth), where they are (status), or where they are headed (potential)? Understandably, the average human judges by the outward appearance, which most certainly includes physical cleanliness. This, in turn, could influence one's perception of worth, status, and/or potential. It could even go so far as, with shallow individuals, leading one to judge so harshly as to temporarily prevent a person from progressing in life's goals, as by denying employment, speaking and acting harshly or abusively, and so forth. Without even pulling spirituality or religion into this viewpoint however, I am already confused as to how an external influence could indefinitely define an individual. It seems to me that the immortalized names of history also came from people who derived their self-worth on foundations of virtue and morality, rather than foundations of looks and appearance. And, moving into the spiritual side of this, our Savior's name is by far the greatest among such immortalized names, literally and figuratively speaking.
Now, when the Savior spoke in the scriptures regarding this, I am certain you, dear reader, have familiarized yourself with the next couple of scripture stories I am going to share. In 1st Samuel chapter 16, the prophet Samuel came to Bethelem to make one of the sons of Jesse (the father of David) the Lord's anointed. Jesse brought out every one of his sons, except David, making seven of them. As they started, Samuel looked at the eldest and basically said, "Oh, this must be him". But then the Lord spoke the wise and oft-quoted truth, "Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." (1st Samuel 16:7). What, then, does this teach? Well, since the Lord also rebuked the Pharisees, telling them that outwardly they were "beautiful unto men, but inwardly full of dead men's bones and all manner of uncleanliness", I think I have an idea. When I choose to judge another based on how he looks, smells, or otherwise appears to me, I have immediately made not only an unrighteous, but a harsh and unwarranted judgment at that. The Lord looks upon the heart not only as an example to us, but also because He is the only one who perfectly knows the story of every child of God. We can gain sufficient knowledge to judge righteously, this is true. Yet, I wonder how often I judge without regarding each of the seven principles of righteous judgment, as taught by Elder Oaks (see "Judge Not and Judging, www.lds.org) Such righteous judgments are more rare than I think I am willing to admit sometimes. All of us, myself included, should take the time to get to know a person, rather than simply looking at a person and either disqualifying them or qualifying them for friendship, romance, or any other sort of connection or relationship.
Moving on, mental cleanliness to me does mean a few different things. It does include a sort of spiritual element, because we must watch our thoughts, to keep them clean through prayer, physical exercise (yes, your thoughts are affected by the biochemical state of your body), scripture study, and all that jazz. However, were I to elaborate on that, I think I would cover something a tad cliché. Simply put, watching your thoughts by keeping your body and spirit active through exertion and faith creates that thought control. Enough said. Another element of mental cleanliness is taking time out for your mind to relax and rejuvenate. God has designed our brains with physiological and psychological mechanisms that empower our minds to be refreshed-but only if we choose the activities and lifestyle that will allow it. In the half hour to hour that you "could be studying", "could be doing homework", or "could be doing a work project", or whatever, you could also be relaxing and subsequently improving your body's capacity to do more in less time. Research and professional medical opinions will most definitely back me up on this. Take care of you, and your body will follow. In addition, I believe that within the madness of busy schedules, degree-seeking, and-dare I say it-romance, one must learn to find serenity on the go. Breathing techniques, positive affirmations, utilizing the imagination, and other coping skills create a tidy mentality in which one can more perfectly function with efficiency. Learn to chill on the go-trust me, it helps. And finally, as I have written in more detail in another blog post, simplifying your life in whatever way works for you also cleans out the mind and organizes it wonderfully. Simplicity gives a sense of confidence and poise that it seems like not much else can. To me, that is one reason why I love the gospel of Jesus Christ, as taught by the Church. It gives us a simple, yet profound way to follow God.
SSA fits into physical cleanliness because I often think stereotypes are associated with whom we associate in the SSA community. Rather than judging by a person's heart, sometimes I think we fall into the trap of viewing a person based on how nice their clothes are, how nice their face is, the type of cologne/perfume they wear, etc. And going even further, sometimes the physical appearance overall (such as weight, height, eye color, and so on) plays the primary role in how we associate with others in the SSA community, rather than what the person's character is like-after we get to know him or her. Really, I believe that judging in such shortsighted ways robs us of valuable friendships, emotional intimacy with our brothers and sisters in Christ, and could even potentially delay fulfilling and meaningful marriage by creating habits of shallow judging. In the future, if one does get married, it could create issues with the other individual because you have been conditioned to believe that physical attractiveness is much bigger than it really is, in the grand, eternal scheme of things. All will be physically and aesthetically appealing in eternity-but for now, we must find true and individual beauty.
In terms of mental cleanliness and SSA, it clears up problems with potential sin, because my mind is the stage of where darkness or light can act. When I fill my mind with virtue and light on a continual basis, addiction and vice have no lasting effects upon me- provided I repent and strengthens my conversion to Jesus Christ. It also creates personal relaxation, which provides direction, comfort, and clarity in a world so filled with confusion and darkness. And it also gives me tools to cope with personal affliction, such as my mental illnesses. Adversity and opposition, rather than worsening my SSA, become assets to it as I clear out the clutter and simplify life because it increases confidence and preparedness for the unexpected. It also builds faith and trust in the Lord's timing, power, revelation (both general and personal), comfort, and all else He accomplishes in my life, because a mind opened up to light is a mind filled with enlightenment and illumination. When I choose to look forward, into the past, or to stay within the present, I can remain at peace, because I see through spiritual eyes and I know the Lord has been there. It is my prayer for each of us that we can strive for cleanliness in every area, because as mentioned earlier, I wrote about all of them for a specific purpose-that being a mindset of overall wellness. When we speak of wellness, we mean a state of homeostasis, in which the body is able to return to a state of healthy normality. Through cultivating overall cleanliness, our heart, spirit, mind, and body will find a state of balance, full of resilience and elasticity. And that will help each of us at least a little in our individual journeys towards peace with same-sex attraction.
10.22.2013
Cleanliness-But What Kind? (Part 1 of 2)
Oftentimes, I have observed in my life a desire and even a prolonged need to have my SSA ordered in a certain way, to make sure that every little thing is properly in place and every little corner is safely tucked away, out of sight and out of mind. Yes, I mean that I repressed and even ignored those feelings of attraction at times. I have learned that in my moments of greatest distress, the Savior is my Friend, Healer, and one who orders my life the way it is supposed to be. I may not desire it, but I know it happens in the best way possible, for in surrendering my will to the will of God I have discovered that He knows better than I.
Same-sex attraction, however, has an unusual pull in my life towards a desire for orderly thoughts, behavior, feelings, and so on at all times. But as I have moved forward with acceptance, compassion, and patience towards others and myself, I have learned that life does not necessarily go how my thoughts organize it, but rather as God's thoughts organize it through my actions, as I submit to Him. However, I must say that cleanliness, however small, seems to bring a certain amount of peace to those who struggle with SSA because it is something we can control. I have merely observed this; some people do not feel this way. By personal experience and viewing that of others, I have seen it quite frequently, however. The first question I see then is which kind of cleanliness takes highest priority (or should)? From my point of view, several types of cleanliness exist, including emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical. Each plays their own individual role in having SSA, and I feel it necessary to address them in a two-part post. For now, let's address the first two.
"Emotional cleanliness" may seem like an odd term, but if you think about it the phrase starts to make sense. When a person, in opposite view, does not balance out their emotions, the organization of their life falls apart to some degree. Many people with SSA deal with mental illness, codependency, weaknesses of melodramatic, clingy, and needy behavior, and more. These reflect that disorganization and sometimes pure chaos that comes as emotional balance decreases. As such, I have often found that taking time for myself centers me in the moment, and alleviates my stress, anxiety, or other negative feelings I have. In addition, being simplistic while planning out life also maintains healthy levels of self-confidence, productivity, and love in my life. It just makes life easier, in my opinion. Also, I strongly believe in the power of writing and expressing gratitude in every situation, no matter how difficult. If you find gratitude in hard situations, they come out of disguise and you see the Lord reaching down from heaven and blessing you through something difficult. Increasing gratitude more and more daily attracts more blessings into my life, I have seen. If you desire emotional cleanliness, I would recommend harnessing the power of gratitude.
Spiritual cleanliness, though something often taught about in church, is not really taught from the viewpoint of SSA. One has to interpret it through the Spirit to obtain that blessing, which is fine. I would like to simply lay it down, though. Though it comes at great personal sacrifice, I refrain from immoral, unclean, and otherwise impure activities, thoughts, feelings, speech, and so on. This includes seeking out same-sex relationships through courtship/dating, being in a same-sex relationship, acting out sexually in any form, passionate kissing, and indeed anything that includes even the slightest traces of lust. As I have done this, I have discovered far more true, lasting joy than when I have pursued the world's path of immoral and unrighteous behavior. If you wish to be spiritually clean, then I urge you to follow the words of the prophets and apostles. They speak for our Heavenly Father. Remember that above all, you are a child of God and spiritual cleanliness will bring blessings, even if they are not apparent yet. Blessings result from obedience because they change us into somebody more celestial in nature. More to come soon...
Same-sex attraction, however, has an unusual pull in my life towards a desire for orderly thoughts, behavior, feelings, and so on at all times. But as I have moved forward with acceptance, compassion, and patience towards others and myself, I have learned that life does not necessarily go how my thoughts organize it, but rather as God's thoughts organize it through my actions, as I submit to Him. However, I must say that cleanliness, however small, seems to bring a certain amount of peace to those who struggle with SSA because it is something we can control. I have merely observed this; some people do not feel this way. By personal experience and viewing that of others, I have seen it quite frequently, however. The first question I see then is which kind of cleanliness takes highest priority (or should)? From my point of view, several types of cleanliness exist, including emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical. Each plays their own individual role in having SSA, and I feel it necessary to address them in a two-part post. For now, let's address the first two.
"Emotional cleanliness" may seem like an odd term, but if you think about it the phrase starts to make sense. When a person, in opposite view, does not balance out their emotions, the organization of their life falls apart to some degree. Many people with SSA deal with mental illness, codependency, weaknesses of melodramatic, clingy, and needy behavior, and more. These reflect that disorganization and sometimes pure chaos that comes as emotional balance decreases. As such, I have often found that taking time for myself centers me in the moment, and alleviates my stress, anxiety, or other negative feelings I have. In addition, being simplistic while planning out life also maintains healthy levels of self-confidence, productivity, and love in my life. It just makes life easier, in my opinion. Also, I strongly believe in the power of writing and expressing gratitude in every situation, no matter how difficult. If you find gratitude in hard situations, they come out of disguise and you see the Lord reaching down from heaven and blessing you through something difficult. Increasing gratitude more and more daily attracts more blessings into my life, I have seen. If you desire emotional cleanliness, I would recommend harnessing the power of gratitude.
Spiritual cleanliness, though something often taught about in church, is not really taught from the viewpoint of SSA. One has to interpret it through the Spirit to obtain that blessing, which is fine. I would like to simply lay it down, though. Though it comes at great personal sacrifice, I refrain from immoral, unclean, and otherwise impure activities, thoughts, feelings, speech, and so on. This includes seeking out same-sex relationships through courtship/dating, being in a same-sex relationship, acting out sexually in any form, passionate kissing, and indeed anything that includes even the slightest traces of lust. As I have done this, I have discovered far more true, lasting joy than when I have pursued the world's path of immoral and unrighteous behavior. If you wish to be spiritually clean, then I urge you to follow the words of the prophets and apostles. They speak for our Heavenly Father. Remember that above all, you are a child of God and spiritual cleanliness will bring blessings, even if they are not apparent yet. Blessings result from obedience because they change us into somebody more celestial in nature. More to come soon...
10.15.2013
Beauty in Heartache
Heartache happens to all of us. In life, I cannot avoid the possibility of it, because others say unkind words, trials arise, life happens, and other situations occur that try my faith, hope, and optimism towards the light God has given me. I have often wondered, though, what beauty I can find in every heartache, including my SSA. Honestly, when I have chosen to change my perspective, life changes with it. Experience has provided me with plenty of witnesses to prove this point. The question is then, which beautiful aspects of same-sex attraction can I focus on during difficult times? I would like to explore just a few.
To begin with, because I have same-sex attraction I feel more inclined to act emotionally sensitive to the needs and desires of others. Since I have revelation from God promising that I shall someday find a wife, I have foreseen such a personality characteristic as an asset to my future marriage and romance we will share together. Women love romance, they love individualized attention, and they appreciate men who can tune in to their emotions while giving them validation-instead of attempting to always fix matters, as some men do. I view my SSA as an asset in that regard, because when my wife is having a rough time, desires personalized attention, or even just wants to be intimate, I will have an added measure of understanding towards her. That being said, not just my wife can benefit from such a gift. I also have used that gift to assist others around me, by speaking the right words they need to hear and offering wisdom that illuminates their pathway back to God. My friends, family, and even perfect strangers at times have all received blessings because I chose to let the Spirit work through me as an instrument in the Lord's hands. And we all can do that...I am not special nor different by any means in that regard. You, dear reader, may certainly increase your worthiness towards God and thus create a state of holiness about you in which you are more than capable of discerning others' needs.
Moving on, SSA has also opened up more genuine and deep communion with God. I have learned that in order to gain His favor, light, and understanding, I must rely solely on the grace of God and that will flow into my life. Jesus Christ suffered for my sins, and as I continually pursue a relationship with Him, I feel His guidance and reassurance that I can live the commandments, find peace amid the oppositions of others to my "old-fashioned" gay lifestyle, and understand that somehow God can help me find love. In addition, I have seen that, on my journey with SSA, my relationship with Christ establishes my joy, and others who I relate to only add to that joy. His opinion of me is really what matters, and as other people see me as He does, I come to have friendships with them as well.
Although I have sometimes desired to act out sexually or romantically with another man, I choose not to because of that relationship with Christ. And that, though it is a heartache, teaches me that true love must really be something wonderful if God is expecting me to sacrifice so much for it. The Lord, from my witness and experience, never has put me through anything that did not turn out to bless me richly later. And so, I have found greater faith in my Savior and an elevated sense of hope in romantic and true love between myself and a virtuous woman. Truly, the lack of sexual objectification present in my desires towards women has proved a marvelous blessing. Most, if not all respectable women would agree with me when I state that they would rather date, court, and marry a man who views their inner and outer beauty, not just their outer beauty as a gratification for sexual desire. I have gained a deeper respect for the virtue and role of women as I have pondered on how I may best prepare myself for the woman I desire.
Other areas of SSA exist that truly break the heart. However, I fully and firmly believe that I can find joy amid pain, and beauty within heartache. As Isaiah prophesied, the purpose of the Savior is to "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning...", among other things. I know that we all can choose to see heartache as beautiful, because our learning, our healing, our greatest wisdom and insights, and our greatest blessings arise out of mourning and the ashes from the flagrant fires of adversity's destruction. Our beauty comes in knowing that, after looking into the starry sky during our darkest nights, the dawn of heaven will burst forth in comfort and abundance.
To begin with, because I have same-sex attraction I feel more inclined to act emotionally sensitive to the needs and desires of others. Since I have revelation from God promising that I shall someday find a wife, I have foreseen such a personality characteristic as an asset to my future marriage and romance we will share together. Women love romance, they love individualized attention, and they appreciate men who can tune in to their emotions while giving them validation-instead of attempting to always fix matters, as some men do. I view my SSA as an asset in that regard, because when my wife is having a rough time, desires personalized attention, or even just wants to be intimate, I will have an added measure of understanding towards her. That being said, not just my wife can benefit from such a gift. I also have used that gift to assist others around me, by speaking the right words they need to hear and offering wisdom that illuminates their pathway back to God. My friends, family, and even perfect strangers at times have all received blessings because I chose to let the Spirit work through me as an instrument in the Lord's hands. And we all can do that...I am not special nor different by any means in that regard. You, dear reader, may certainly increase your worthiness towards God and thus create a state of holiness about you in which you are more than capable of discerning others' needs.
Moving on, SSA has also opened up more genuine and deep communion with God. I have learned that in order to gain His favor, light, and understanding, I must rely solely on the grace of God and that will flow into my life. Jesus Christ suffered for my sins, and as I continually pursue a relationship with Him, I feel His guidance and reassurance that I can live the commandments, find peace amid the oppositions of others to my "old-fashioned" gay lifestyle, and understand that somehow God can help me find love. In addition, I have seen that, on my journey with SSA, my relationship with Christ establishes my joy, and others who I relate to only add to that joy. His opinion of me is really what matters, and as other people see me as He does, I come to have friendships with them as well.
Although I have sometimes desired to act out sexually or romantically with another man, I choose not to because of that relationship with Christ. And that, though it is a heartache, teaches me that true love must really be something wonderful if God is expecting me to sacrifice so much for it. The Lord, from my witness and experience, never has put me through anything that did not turn out to bless me richly later. And so, I have found greater faith in my Savior and an elevated sense of hope in romantic and true love between myself and a virtuous woman. Truly, the lack of sexual objectification present in my desires towards women has proved a marvelous blessing. Most, if not all respectable women would agree with me when I state that they would rather date, court, and marry a man who views their inner and outer beauty, not just their outer beauty as a gratification for sexual desire. I have gained a deeper respect for the virtue and role of women as I have pondered on how I may best prepare myself for the woman I desire.
Other areas of SSA exist that truly break the heart. However, I fully and firmly believe that I can find joy amid pain, and beauty within heartache. As Isaiah prophesied, the purpose of the Savior is to "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning...", among other things. I know that we all can choose to see heartache as beautiful, because our learning, our healing, our greatest wisdom and insights, and our greatest blessings arise out of mourning and the ashes from the flagrant fires of adversity's destruction. Our beauty comes in knowing that, after looking into the starry sky during our darkest nights, the dawn of heaven will burst forth in comfort and abundance.
10.07.2013
Same-Sex Attraction and Truth
Before I begin discussing truth, let me first state that my intentions purely stem from charity towards everyone, those who deal with SSA (same-sex attraction) and those who do not. I absolutely love every single person who copes in some manner with this sensitive topic, and express my absolutely firm testimony that we are all children of God, deserving of respect, acceptance, compassion, hope, and every other good thing in life. Our Heavenly Father desires us to experience joy along every step of mortality, and so I also intend to provide that same joy through each of my postings here-most especially this one. Let me first begin with those of us, whether LDS or not, who struggle to know truth concerning same-sex attraction.
First and foremost, if you do not know something is true then the best course of action is to test it. In the Church, we believe that God loves all His children, regardless of their sexual orientation. We define ourselves by our divine identity as children of God, not by our past or present desires, mistakes, backgrounds, abilities, etc. As someone once said, "In the sight of God, it is not so much about where we have been or what we have done, but where we are going.", meaning that our present progression into the future is most important to our Father in Heaven, and our Savior, Jesus Christ. If you are seeking to know truth, good. That is a wonderful step in the right direction towards heaven. Now, then, how does one come to know truth? Start by defining truth, so that you are working with the right materials. A mechanic has to have all the properly sized tools to work on different cars-so it is with truth. You may have to explore these different definitions of what truth is, and either find witnesses of their validity in your life or test them out in your personal life. As you do so, you are building up a foundation of knowing what general truth is, so you can discover which specific concepts, philosophies, religious doctrines, and so forth are true.
Once you build this foundation of general truth with all its specific components, then I would recommend living and praying about truths that the Church teaches in relation to same-sex attraction. If you are a child of God, choose to be happy in all situations, to view yourself confidently, to live faithfully while being patient with yourself, and all that jazz. You are amazing. And you deserve abundant life, temporally and spiritually. That is your birthright as a spirit child of your Heavenly Father. Also, if it is the will of God for you, then seek out romance once the time is right. Faithful women are beautiful, virtuous, and a positive influence on men when viewed from every angle-spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and (depending on the subjective view of the man) physically. Take it easy, relax, and know that things work out in due time. I believe every SSA man (or woman) is capable of finding someone to love when it is God's will for them in this life, because He can provide them with the means necessary. Otherwise, I would like to expound a little for those whose circumstances prevent that from happening, whether by choice or not.
If you are one of the individuals who is doing all they can to live in sexual purity, I applaud you with deep and genuine respect and fervent admiration. Our Savior most certainly expects us to lay everything at His altar He will require of us, in order to obtain exaltation. My only plea-maintain that sexual purity. Your virtue, your sense of peace, the companionship of the Spirit, and most of all, your crown of godhood and a fulness of joy is far more important than any other worldly pursuit of pleasure, passion, emotion, and so on. Find other methods to fill in the space that such a desire leaves, with pursuits of pure love. Fatherhood (or for women, motherhood) as a single parent with adopted children may fulfill that role beautifully, as a wise friend of mine has decided to aim for. What an amazing idea- gathering little children from third world countries and taking them in! I love that idea. Others could devote their time to volunteering in hospitals, homeless shelters, and various other worthy causes in the community. And, of course, pursuing family history with renewed vigor and a true knowledge of how its processes work always fills us up with goodness. I also think, last of all, that missionary work-whether of preaching or service-accomplishes the purpose of filling oneself up with pure, perfect love. And, as John the Beloved taught, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that hath fear is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us." (1st John 4:18-19) Indeed, we love God so our love can be perfected in Him, to banish fear and embrace faith, hope, and charity, for all must be present or none of them can be (Moroni 7:39-47).
As one patiently lives and sees the fruits of perfect love instead of fear, it is my knowledge that they will come to believe in the truths the gospel teaches regarding each aspect of same-sex attraction. Such things come with time; we cannot expect them to happen by a calendar or deadline. Light, being divine, shines upon our hearts in the Lord's way, will, and time. Each of you are children of God, no matter what your sexual orientation may be or where you are at spiritually. Remember this and act accordingly, and His Spirit will carry you high on its wings towards heaven. You are loved.
First and foremost, if you do not know something is true then the best course of action is to test it. In the Church, we believe that God loves all His children, regardless of their sexual orientation. We define ourselves by our divine identity as children of God, not by our past or present desires, mistakes, backgrounds, abilities, etc. As someone once said, "In the sight of God, it is not so much about where we have been or what we have done, but where we are going.", meaning that our present progression into the future is most important to our Father in Heaven, and our Savior, Jesus Christ. If you are seeking to know truth, good. That is a wonderful step in the right direction towards heaven. Now, then, how does one come to know truth? Start by defining truth, so that you are working with the right materials. A mechanic has to have all the properly sized tools to work on different cars-so it is with truth. You may have to explore these different definitions of what truth is, and either find witnesses of their validity in your life or test them out in your personal life. As you do so, you are building up a foundation of knowing what general truth is, so you can discover which specific concepts, philosophies, religious doctrines, and so forth are true.
Once you build this foundation of general truth with all its specific components, then I would recommend living and praying about truths that the Church teaches in relation to same-sex attraction. If you are a child of God, choose to be happy in all situations, to view yourself confidently, to live faithfully while being patient with yourself, and all that jazz. You are amazing. And you deserve abundant life, temporally and spiritually. That is your birthright as a spirit child of your Heavenly Father. Also, if it is the will of God for you, then seek out romance once the time is right. Faithful women are beautiful, virtuous, and a positive influence on men when viewed from every angle-spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and (depending on the subjective view of the man) physically. Take it easy, relax, and know that things work out in due time. I believe every SSA man (or woman) is capable of finding someone to love when it is God's will for them in this life, because He can provide them with the means necessary. Otherwise, I would like to expound a little for those whose circumstances prevent that from happening, whether by choice or not.
If you are one of the individuals who is doing all they can to live in sexual purity, I applaud you with deep and genuine respect and fervent admiration. Our Savior most certainly expects us to lay everything at His altar He will require of us, in order to obtain exaltation. My only plea-maintain that sexual purity. Your virtue, your sense of peace, the companionship of the Spirit, and most of all, your crown of godhood and a fulness of joy is far more important than any other worldly pursuit of pleasure, passion, emotion, and so on. Find other methods to fill in the space that such a desire leaves, with pursuits of pure love. Fatherhood (or for women, motherhood) as a single parent with adopted children may fulfill that role beautifully, as a wise friend of mine has decided to aim for. What an amazing idea- gathering little children from third world countries and taking them in! I love that idea. Others could devote their time to volunteering in hospitals, homeless shelters, and various other worthy causes in the community. And, of course, pursuing family history with renewed vigor and a true knowledge of how its processes work always fills us up with goodness. I also think, last of all, that missionary work-whether of preaching or service-accomplishes the purpose of filling oneself up with pure, perfect love. And, as John the Beloved taught, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that hath fear is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us." (1st John 4:18-19) Indeed, we love God so our love can be perfected in Him, to banish fear and embrace faith, hope, and charity, for all must be present or none of them can be (Moroni 7:39-47).
As one patiently lives and sees the fruits of perfect love instead of fear, it is my knowledge that they will come to believe in the truths the gospel teaches regarding each aspect of same-sex attraction. Such things come with time; we cannot expect them to happen by a calendar or deadline. Light, being divine, shines upon our hearts in the Lord's way, will, and time. Each of you are children of God, no matter what your sexual orientation may be or where you are at spiritually. Remember this and act accordingly, and His Spirit will carry you high on its wings towards heaven. You are loved.
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