Civility, Morality, and Homosexuality

Although I could post continually on places like Facebook, Twitter, or other social media websites, I think that I could offer far more information by simply putting out my beliefs and opinions concerning the various pathways one can take with gay marriage.  Previously, I discussed why it is positive for us to embrace celestial marriage, because it leads to exaltation, and I also attempted to discuss at length how we might accomplish that.  Now, I think that, in light of the recent legalization of gay marriage in Utah, that it is time for me to discuss why we must shun, fight against, and utterly turn away from even the idea of gay marriage-let alone embracing its wickedness.  For some, you will be expecting me to bash on the gay community, to outline every reason why they are sinners before God, and to condemn their mortal existence in hellfire.  You can find such hideous, hateful writings elsewhere, because my writings never will never contain such intent.  It would be equally, if not more wicked of me to condemn and hate those who are (in my view) transgressing the laws of God when I do the same myself.  I condemn behavior-not individuals.  Moving forward, then...

Because traditional families are the central unit to the success of society, as demonstrated by historical evidence, learned men in the modern-day fields of social sciences, and presently developing American civilization, they must be protected.  The traditional family of one man and one woman is under attack today, whether intentionally or unintentionally.  The grace and goodness of a virtuous woman in the home is mocked, undermined, and minimized in its majestic significance, and the strong, firm, and practical guidance of a man is downplayed and scorned in its essential function.  By design, whether of nature or by God (depending on your beliefs), women are naturally nurturing and strive for that which is morally pure.  Men, on another plane, are naturally the ones to preside, provide, and protect.  Is that not true in every society we have seen,where men and women follow the natural course of nature?  Even in completely pagan or relatively atheistic societies, such as the Romans or the Greeks, clearly the roles of men and women remained strong.  And as those civilizations drew to a close in all their earthly glory (particularly the Roman empire), open homosexuality ran rampant. 

Is it any wonder or coincidence that in the more organized, educated, and morally upright phases of civilizations, natural practices have been followed, and then in the more degenerate, ignorant phases, unnatural practices such as homosexuality have then followed?  Concerning what the social sciences have said about the necessity for traditional families in society, I need not expound very much.  Suffice it to say that families do not function as well in the natural, intended way when homosexual marriages are practiced and children are brought forth.  If Nature or God had intended for men and men (or women and women) to be able to biologically reproduce, then it seems only logical that our anatomy would be vastly different. But it isn't.  In my view, it also seems that the experience of both motherhood and fatherhood is robbed from all people who engage in homosexual relationships and marriages, as well as from their children.  Not only is this unfair to the adults, because they miss out on having the joyous life experience of creating biological children, but also because the children are imposed into an environment that is unnatural and does not naturally exist from the start.  When I say "natural", I mean as things would be without the interference of mankind or any other influence.  Natural courses provide optimum results. In the most prosperous, civilized, and peaceful societies, homosexuality did not exist in abundance.  Here in our society, people everywhere, it seems, run rampant with the banner of their sexuality, decrying any kind of "unconstitutional", "hateful", or "unequal" treatment.  But really, gay marriage is a detriment to the well-being and peace of society, and it will destroy it if fully embraced everywhere. This is why:

Gay marriage popularizes a highly diseased, emotionally unstable, and sexualized culture that, in combination, will kill off individuals through AIDS, drugs, alcohol abuse, suicide, and other unsavory methods that I care not to discuss.  It also opens the window for people to act even more entitled in an already overly entitled society called America.  Why?  Because gay marriage weighs heavily with a bias of concern towards adults-not children, who are the future of America and the keystone to our success, but rather people who are concerned about their personal emotional and sexual affairs.  How selfish!  The audacity absolutely shocks me beyond belief.  In addition, gay marriage rips apart the sanctity of traditional marriage through its popularizing because, in addition to marriage already being a throwaway ceremony, now it is something that anyone can throw away.  It also advertises the lesser forms of love such as sex and intimate friendship as actual true love, which confuses people into thinking that somehow love is lust and lust is love.  That promotes more unbridled sexuality, which influences people into other sexual perversions.  People say, "Oh well you don't know what happens behind closed doors."  I do when it is 2am and two people are attractive, alone together, and are with each other in a relationship-marriage or otherwise.  Sexual behavior, private or open, is implied to other people by the very fact that they are in a marriage.  That is the gateway to sexual expression for a great deal of individuals-so when they see people engaging in sexuality that is unbridled, unnatural, and unproductive in bringing forth children, they assume that the same sexuality in other contexts is okay.  Examples can change people-for the worse or the better.  And when people are openly gay and supporting marriage between themselves, that oversteps moral boundaries and thus is to be fought against and prevented. 

I could go on and on about why gay marriage destroys the functioning of American society in its well-being and peace.  I could cite endless references and argue until I am blue in the face, supporting my position about this.  But again, I am not here to say why others are wrong.  I am here to state why I disapprove and fully reject the motives behind legalizing gay marriage, and the actual decision to legalize gay marriage. I really hope that we all understand why it has become necessary to make a stand for what is morally right within the bounds of civility.  Marriage is not a strictly religious or spiritual affair-it has been, is, and always will be an issue of morality at its deepest levels.  And I believe in upholding morality, especially when it affects society at large. I do not care if people think that the civil government is overstepping its bounds when it gets involved with gay marriage. When matters of morality overstep their bounds into matters of civility, the government has every right to protect what is morally just, pure, and righteous.

And regardless of whether marriage is an institution or invention of man or not, the government regulates other affairs of morality too for the same reason-we all desire protection from that which disturbs our peace and well-being as Americans. Thieves, prostitutes, rapists, murderers, sexual perverts, abusers, and those who commit lesser crimes are all punished under civil laws. Marriage, which affects the peace and well-being of society at large, is no different. People state, "Well, I have the right to freely act in this country. It's a free country!" You're a @#!*% fool if you think this country is absolutely free. People are restricted in their actions all the time when their actions potentially can affect or do affect others in detrimental and even destructive ways. When all earthly things pass away before the burning glory of the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, however, and only the eternal can and will stand, the whole earth shall know what love truly is-and what binds it together between two human beings. Chemical romances, infatuations, lust, passions, and everything else that flees away with time is not eternally binding. Friendship between two members of the same sex, though running deep and emotionally intimate, is not eternally binding. True love that binds people together is eternal, and the power that binds one man and one woman for eternity will only ever be found in the walls of the temples of God. And that will remain the same, forever and ever.  Love you all!!!

Exaltation's Pathway

I understood that sooner or later, the topic of dating and marriage would come up in relation to same-sex attraction.  Like many of my SSA friends, however, I have chosen to ignore that topic as long as possible in serious and even informal discussion.  But I have realized that the time has finally arrived for this discussion to take place in its entirety, and for me to explain doctrinally why dating and marriage are both part of the Plan of Happiness, which is designed for the purpose of us returning to our Savior and our Heavenly Father, and becoming gods and goddesses.  The Atonement makes it possible, because it is their work and glory to bring to pass both our immortality and eternal life (Moses 1:39).  Moving on, then...

An oft-quoted scripture in Romans 8 states that the Spirit itself bears witness that we are children of God, and because we are children, we are heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ.  In other words, because we are the children of our Heavenly Father and covered by the atoning blood of Christ, we have the potential and choice to become as God is, regardless of sexual orientation.  We are defined solely by our divine identity, because that is what we came into this life with and what we will go out of it with.  President Kimball and President Packer have both taught we are not "born that way", and the reason President Kimball gave is because it would contradict the doctrine that we are created after the image of God, meaning that we are created in His likeness, not just physically but in every aspect.  Whatever the cause of same-sex attraction, it surely is not that (see my post, "Born That Way?" for more details).  I speak of all this concerning our identity because this is what the scriptures and the servants of the Lord have taught from the beginning, and because when we start seeking after the goal of exaltation, we must begin with an understanding of who we are in truth and purity. 

The pathway towards exaltation then begins with us developing and later encouraging attractions towards the opposite sex, whether that is sexual or not.  A healthy, celestial marriage naturally will include sex, but this does not have to be attained through physical attraction.  Worldly philosophy will tell you it does, and cultural Mormonism might.  However, I see the gospel of Christ as a place where people grow to love each other as a process.  This process, known as dating, starts out casual and moves into the second phase of steady courtship.  After this, it leads into marriage.  From dating to courtship to marriage, all of us are engaged in that process for the purpose of becoming as our Heavenly Father is.  Consider these quotes on the proscribed and proper pathway to exaltation, from a gospel-oriented perspective: 

"There may be some who won’t be married. May I say to you, the most important thing you have to remember is to stay on the high ground and make sure that you are worthy, because we are told that there will be many blessings in the eternities to come that will be rightfully yours. So do not get that discouraged. The most important thing is to stay worthy and true and on the spiritual high ground." (Elder Robert D. Hales, CES Firesides, "Seek and Attain the Spiritually High Ground in Life")

"Do you want capability, safety, and security in dating and romance, in married life and eternity? Be a true disciple of Jesus. Be a genuine, committed, word-and-deed Latter-day Saint. Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril. Jesus Christ, the Light of the World, is the only lamp by which you can successfully see the path of love and happiness. How should I love thee? As He does, for that way ‘never faileth.' " (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “How Do I Love Thee?” New Era, Oct. 2003)

Discipleship is directly related to dating, which is a part of the process of celestial marriage.  For those who are not meant to be married in this life, we are not to be discouraged but rather to live on the spiritually high ground, to remember that faith has everything to do with romance and dating with discipleship.  The same goes for those who are meant to be married in this life- keep high standards.  If we are to seek out the Lord, we cannot pursue dating, romance, chemical attraction, infatuation, passion, lust, or anything else like it with someone of the same sex.  It taints the process of true, celestial love, which can only exist between a man and a woman, and damages the potential of marriage later.  If a man was preparing for the Melchizedek Priesthood, he would have been honoring his Aaronic Priesthood in his youth and striving to obtain his Duty to God award.  If a woman were preparing to be a member of the Relief Society, she would be honoring her virtue as a daughter of God and striving to obtain her Young Women's medallion. 

I encourage all SSA members of the Church to remember that God leads us along in the light of truth, clarity, understanding, revelation, and purpose, which directly matches the principles and doctrines of the gospel as taught by the scriptures and the modern-day prophets and apostles of the Lord.  We are led by revelation and pure doctrine, not by confusion.  God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as Paul taught.  I believe it impure, blasphemous, and heretical to propose that male or female members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints can keep their covenants while also dating members of the same sex.  Speaking specifically to the men, all of us can fulfill those needs and desires through other pure methods, such as deep male friendship, single fathering, service, magnifying callings, honoring priesthood, volunteering time in the community, spending time with brothers in the gospel, doing home teaching, and more.  We can.  And I know that as we do, we will find much greater joy than any alternate pathways, and we will be traveling on the pathway to exaltation.  More to come soon... thank you for reading! 

Great SSA Expectations

A famous writer named Og Mandino once penned the famous words, "Love without any thought of reward, and your life will never be the same again."  As I have recently pondered on these words due to the words of a wise friend, I have recalled that my life has been much happier when I loved purely for the joy of it.  Indeed, when recalling the most prominent teachings of the Savior and His apostles concerning charity, a few insights have come to my mind regarding this virtue that I desire to share.  Bear in mind that although I express my opinions, nobody need accept them as gospel truth.  I fully and firmly believe them to be such, because of scriptural support-both in the standard works and in the words of modern prophets and apostles.  Moving forward then, let's explore the relationships between SSA, charity, and our personal expectations as disciples of Christ and/or as decent human beings. 

As I have thought about that quote, another from Christ came into my mind from the scriptures.  In Luke 6:31-35, we read, "And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same.
And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again. But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil."  In this Christ clearly stated that not the Saints, but rather the sinners decide to love, do good to, and lend to those that do the same for them.  But as His converted children, we love, do good, and lend to everyone, hoping for nothing again. Wow. What a concept-to give selflessly without any thought of reward, as our first quote stated.  But it is also interesting to note that in so doing, we shall have blessings of a great reward and of being converted to Christ.  When Christ prophesied that "because iniquity shall abound, the love of men shall wax cold", I am certain He was partially including preset expectations in relationships- which He knew would be everywhere. 

When I speak of "preset expectations", I define those not as moral standards or personality traits one searches for in another, whether in a pursuit of romance or friendship or any other association. Rather, I say that such preset expectations are the laundry list, however small or big, of actions a person must fulfill in your eyes to meet the qualifications of being a friend in any degree, whether that is an okay, decent, good, or best friend.  The length of the list you have or the degree of friendship you apply it to is irrelevant, as is the type of psychological relationship.  What is relevant are those "qualifications" a person must meet to enjoy your friendship, support, or other social interactions.  Now, of course, once we start hitting lines of morality, religion, etc. then I understand if you deny someone your time because of those reasons.  For example, I do not spend my time in the company of people who go to the bar, the casino, and so forth.  But if I deny them my presence in part or entirely because of that list I've got, then this is when I must step back and re-evaluate my position as a disciple of Christ or even if I am a nonbeliever, as a decent human being with a conscience. 

Now, what does this have anything to do with SSA?  Among the SSA community, I have often observed a pattern of behavior where people (including myself) have stated a need for time or other forms of love from others, without giving any thought to what they can do to love others as well.  Or, on a better level, they state what someone can do for them and then add in what they hope to do for the other person.  Is that the order in which charity proceeds, though?  Paul both stated that charity "seeketh not her own" (1st Corinthians 13:5) and that "...he which soweth sparingly shall also reap sparingly, and he that soweth bountifully shall also reap bountifully." (2nd Corinthians 9:6)  This means that when I have charity, I do not seek a reward or do it with even the thought of it in mind.  In addition, when Paul wrote that the one who sows bountifully shall also reap bountifully, he wrote it in that order for a reason.  The spirit of giving and gratitude freely and abundantly flows outward to those around it; the spirit of selfishness and pride hoards everything and keeps it inside.  Thus, if one reaps before he or she sows, it demonstrates not only an attitude of wanting something for nothing, but also of entitlement and of prideful self-centeredness.  On the other hand, the true disciple of Christ and/or decent individual understands that selfless giving for the joy of it- without expectation or the resultant fruit of entitlement-is essential to true charity.  The genuine love of God does not seek after blessings first.  It seeks to give those blessings and then welcome any that come, while being "kind to the unthankful and the evil", even as He is.  I think it wise to remember the words of Elder Neal A. Maxwell concerning love and reciprocity, when it comes to SSA:  "And if we love and there is no reciprocity for our love, we worship him who taught us and showed us love that is unconditional, for we must love even when there is no reciprocity."  Love is unconditional-simple.

Individuals who deal with SSA also seem to get caught up in melodrama and emotional upheavals concerning what other SSA individuals have done in their interactions with them.  That is not the way, I do not think.  When we deal with SSA, it should be with an attitude of cultivating the pure love of Christ, because we are each defined by our divine identity under Him.  Each of us is a spirit child of our Heavenly Father, created in His image and blessed with the ability to follow after His Son using our agency.  And each of us, in the Church, has taken upon us the name of Christ and covenanted to "mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in..." (Mosiah 18:6).  That is best accomplished in a spirit of humility, gratitude for what we receive, and willingness to only love for the joy of it, so that others may feel our spirits radiating the pure love of Jesus Christ.  My personal quote on all this is to love for the joy of it, and your life will never be the same again.  Love will abound, friends will come, your temporal life will flourish, and your spiritual life will be blessed.  I love all of you. Thank you for reading.