I still remember that seemingly impossible prompting from my Heavenly Father's spirit - the one that, right after I had come out publicly on Facebook, instructed me to start writing a blog about being gay and Mormon, until I was told to stop!! My initial response was less than saintlike - fearful, anxious, and even annoyed with God. I thought to myself, and "at" Him, "I just came out on Facebook! Isn't that enough for you?!" But, apparently my Father had bigger plans for me as His son. Though I grudgingly and fearfully obeyed, I know I did not at all understand nor comprehend what He had in mind for me. But this I will unequivocally and firmly declare - I am immensely grateful my Father told me to do both in the same day - June 10th, 2013. For without that push at the beginning, I am not altogether certain I would have done both at all! But because He loved me enough to push me far, far, FAR outside my comfort zone, I grew so much, and learned a great deal about His love for me, firstly, the truths He and His Son have taught through the ages (particularly about love, family, marriage, sex, and brotherly bonding), the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and the absolutely crucial role that the holy scriptures play in seeking out strength, comfort, peace, and satisfactory answers when it comes to journeying along the gospel path as an LGBT+ individual. There are indeed few things that could satisfy my thirst for spiritual knowledge, and end my cravings for lust, unholy sexual expression, and romantic same-sex companionship like the Savior's voice echoing to me personally through His word. I do not judge any who engage in any of those things; I simply am stating where I am coming from as one striving to live a genuinely covenant-keeping lifestyle. That being said...
I do not apologize for any of the words I wrote, whatsoever. Some were harsher and excessively bolder than they should've been, but that is not a reflection on anyone who didn't live a life in sync with the things I wrote. Nor is it a reflection on me, other than the growing experience I have had these past 5 1/2 years as I have drawn closer to my Brother and Friend, Jesus Christ, learned more deeply and genuinely about His doctrines, and had His name more fully written upon my heart as I have strove alongside Him to be more converted and charitable. Even in my initial efforts of publishing, which required me to convert my blog posts into PDF files, I've smiled some at the occasionally extreme post titles or the knowledge of the content some of them contained. I like to think, however, that given the at times extreme emotional experience of this journey, I have kept it reasonably thoughtful of others' feelings, and tactful towards the non-religious LGBT+ community. It's been a hard balance to strike, and is admittedly imperfect - but I would have it no other way. I made very few edits indeed to all 79 of these blog posts you will be reading as a book here in a moment, simply because I wanted it to be a compilation of raw, real emotion... nothing polished, nothing I wouldn't write in the same style as my own personal journal. Just a very open, blunt, down-to-earth narrative of a gay male member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, whose work here was purely to explore his journey, while making sure others knew that they were not alone in this journey, without a doubt. I loved finding little to medium to huge insights, and sharing them with my readers these last 5 1/2 years, because they were always new knowledge for me, too! :) I sometimes re-shared common knowledge for members, but I tried my hardest to share any new insights, most of which were ones I already had written in my scripture journal within a few days previously.
It is my genuine, burning hope that you will take courage, comfort, and insight away from this pages, dear reader - LGBT+ or not, because everyone is connected somehow to the rainbow people. We all have a brother, aunt, niece, dad, uncle, friend, etc who identifies somewhere along the LGBT+ spectrum. Perhaps you'll find that this book releases inaccurate and even harmful views you have of LGBT+ individuals in your life, to be replaced by a pure, passionate, and unconditional love for them. I would hope that is the case, because we all struggle along this path we call life, regardless of our sexual orientation, religious affiliation, or any other identifier. It is my fondest dream and brightest hope that my words will inspire you to rise above these labels, and to love the way our Heavenly Father loves - purely, unconditionally, and unyieldingly, regardless of whatever someone feels, does, says, or thinks. It is our divine identity that unites us, our common humanity that we all share. My prayer for us all is that we will, in an attitude and spirit of love, leave better all whom we find. Thank you for reading my words, have a blessed life. <3 <3 <3 :) :)
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