I "Need" (?) Male Affection

Often enough, everyone witnesses mutual male affection in all its beauty and intimacy.  Though some might classify that sort of love as "gay", I believe it ignorant and false to assume so.  Why?  Because some straight men like physical touch with other close male friends, and sometimes even just men in general.  It happens to be the way they speak love through their love language.  That is their personality makeup.  In addition, history will show (in more decent, civilized times of society) that males in Western civilization-particularly America-expressed their love often through physical touch.  And not only did they express their love through physical touch, sometimes that touch included "taboo" things by today's terms, such as kissing on the cheek, holding hands, and giving longer hugs.  Furthermore, according to reliable research with cited resources, I have discovered that men in America and other places did not receive accusations of homosexuality or anything similar to it when doing even more extreme things such as living together, sleeping in the same places, and spending tremendous amounts of time together.  If anything happened between them sexually, then people called them homosexual.  Hence, it is ignorant and false to call men gay when they love being physically affectionate with other men, because it has been perfectly natural in the past.  All that we can conclude, really, is that someone down the line decided to decry such things as "homosexual" because they wanted to sexualize the totally non-sexual behavior of another. 

That being said, then, I wish to delve into a subject that has somewhat annoyed but also amused me for some time regarding the gay community both in and out of the Church.  You see, men who identify with homosexuality to any degree persistently insist they "need" male affection.  I am rather inclined to believe that this is not a "need" to have male affection, but instead someone needing to be needed.  Let me explain.  When someone needs to be needed (and we all know the sort), they feel they cannot live without the love they crave.  And when they do receive it, they only want more and more afterward.  It becomes a vicious cycle of "need".  I must ask my readers to consider if this is really healthy for those in the gay community who engage in this behavior; whether they are LDS or not doesn't matter.  Needing to be needed is detrimental to the journey toward peace for me as a gay individual because it pushed people away by draining them, made them feel badly about their social skills, and made them feel uncomfortable.  In addition, demanding tasks of people has had a way of creating resentment and a prejudice towards me, who demanded said tasks.  Along the journey toward peace with homosexuality, I believe it is better to want male affection in healthy ways as described above. 

I find that developing friendship with an intent for male affection later leads to better places, because one can control himself better, follow the Spirit's guidance more easily, and find positive fulfillment when the affection happens.  In addition, it can lead to healthier feelings regarding a guy's standing with his homosexuality, because he can feel more supported, accepted, and at ease among both straight and gay men alike.  Having a network of men to be affectionate with in healthy, non-sexual ways provides friendship, which is valuable for a particularly good reason identified by C.S. Lewis.  He stated that friendship is unique from the other loves in the sense that civilization can survive without it, yet it is a mercy from God that we all enjoy to better civilization and make it more joyful.  Continuing on, he said that friendship is something that does not really interact with other forms of love that much-it is very much a stand-alone sort of love.  These both are valuable concepts for gay men because oftentimes, those struggling with their sexual orientation and religion or in other ways can find hope in knowing that friendship will provide them with a merciful joy outside of their pain.  It stands alone when it is not needed, or indeed even wanted.  It comes when gay individuals can reach out and see the same truth as another, and/or share the interests that person does.  Thus, the answer is not to need or even want male affection-rather, it is to seek out common interests and truth with other men.  This will lead into friendship, and friendship will lead to affection-which, of course, is a mark of true masculinity.

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